Maybe

Have you ever experienced that feeling when you feel like your heart is going to explode with too much feels? I can't understand why I feel like my heart is filled with pain - pain which I don't even know where the hell came from. Or maybe... this feeling is just brought by the songs I keep on playing at night. They're usually sad songs anyway.

These feelings usually hunt me at night for weeks now. Sometimes I just find myself staring blankly into space. And then one night I thought... what if it's not really pain I'm feeling? What if I just feel... empty? I honestly don't know which is worse.

Maybe this is the reason why I can't write anything. I stopped writing for over a month ago. Most nights I'll open my laptop and just stared at MS Word hoping for some miracle that'll help me to find the will to write again. I'll always end up closing my laptop without any progress.

This, whatever this is, is suffocating. And I really want this feeling to go away.

I never told anyone about this but I hope that writing what I feel here will help me push this feeling away. Maybe this is just what I needed.

Maybe...